Friday, February 4, 2011

If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[waiter leaves]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!



The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.00

Top 7 reasons why I joined IT ...

1) I hated sleep.


************ *

2) I had enjoyed my life enough.


************ *

3) I couldn't live without tension.


************ *



4) I wanted to pay for my sins.


************ *

5) I believed in the Bhagwad Geeta principle : Do work,Don't care about results.


************ *

6) Everything in life has a reason; I wanted to prove it wrong.


************ *

7) I wanted to take revenge on myself .


************ *

Meaning of ABCDEFG & GFEDCBA


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Some Funny Sms

A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). ' The first sardar replies, 'Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258'



Never kiss a police woman.
she ll say stop n handsup
Nvr kiss a nurse she
will say next plz
Alys kiss a teacher
She ll repeat it 10 times.





Khofnaak andheri raat k sannatay main
ek bhoot dosray bhoot ko samjhra raha tha
bhai ghabra mat, ye sub tere dimagh ka waham hai
pathan wathan kuch nahin hote.



Life is like a MOVIE
If u r sad DRAMA
If u r afraid SUSPENSE
If u r angry ACTION
When u look at the mirror HORROR




Who is hot
Its U
Who is Charming
Its U
Who is Sweetest
Its U
Who is Intelligent
Its U
Who is dear n near friend
Its U
Who is a liar
Its me



Lab pe ati hai Dua ban k tamanna meri
Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere
Dor duniya ka tere DAM se ujala hojaye
Jo mjhe sms na kare Uska range kala HOjaye



Once a husband and wife
were preparing to go office
and the wife thought
she would drive today for the office.

Wife Chalo na car me kahin ghumne
chalte hai or car me drive karungi
Huband Agar tum car drive karogi to
jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein”!!

..

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!



Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai
Husband tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai
Wife kesi ghalat fehmi
Husband yehi k mein neeend mein tha



A student was asked 2 write
a signboard 4 the traffic rules
near da college campus
He wrote
Drive Carefully!
Dont kill the students
wait for the Teachers

Sea Is 4 U & Waves R U 4 Me

A sea is for you, and waves are for me.
The sky is for u, & stars are for me.
The sun is for u,& light is for me.
Everything is for u,& you are for me.

Sardar Jokes In Hindi

Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank.
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.

**************************************


Ek dafa sardar ne bank se lon lekar car khrid lya but bank ka lon wapas na kar saka.

magar Bank walo ne car wapas lalya.

Sardar:agar pata huta to shadi be bank ke lon se karta.


**************************************


Ek Sardar ne ek bachy se pucha k tum ko A,B,C Aaty hai to bachy ne keha k mujy 9 tak aty hia..

Sardar ne bachy se keha k oyee Ullu k pathy 9 A,b,c main nahe aata. yeh to Alif,, Be,,Main ata hai:

**************************************


Ek chor Sardar ka mobile le kar bagh gyia.

Dost: wo tumara mobile le kar bagh gyia or tm hanas rahe ho,
Sardar: bagne do charger tu mere pass hai.

**************************************


1st sardar yeah bacha tumhara kia lagta hai


2nd sardar:yeah mera door ka bhai hai


2nd sardar:door ka mein samjha nahin


sardar:iss k orr mere beech 8 behan bhai orr hai

PYAR KI KAHANI

AEK PRINDAY KO SUFAID PHOOL SE
PYAR HOGYA...

KUCH DIN BAAD US PRINDAY NE PHOOL KO PURPOSE KIYA K WO US SE PYAR KARTA HAI....


TO PHOOL NE KAHA JAB MAIN SUFAID SE LAL HOJAONGA TO TUM SE PYAR KARONGA...


PHIR PRINDAY NE APNI CHONCH SE APNA PAIT KAAT DIYA AUR SAARA KHONE US PHOOL K UPER GIRA DIYA AUR PHOOL SUFAID SE LAL HOGYA...


AUR PRINDAY SE PYAR KARNE LAGA..


MAGAR......


EFSOS.....


PRINDA IS DUNIA MAIN NHI RAHA


IS KO KEHTE HAIN....


SACHI MUHABAAT....


SHUKRYA YE HUM SUB K LIEY AEK PAIGAM HAI....

Kya aap yeh topi hata sakate hain

Ek photographer ke pass ek aurat aai aur
boli - Maine apane miya se kaha tha ki topi
pahankar photo mat khinchana lekin topi
utarana bul gaye.Kya aap yeh topi hata
sakate hain?
Photographer Ne Kaha - Ji han lekin aap
yah to bataiye ki aapke shauhar sidhi mang
nikalate hain yan ulati?
Aurat Boli - Jab aap topi utarenge tab khud
dekh lijiyega